tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34210469349538131962024-03-13T13:26:58.365-07:00"Picture Perfect"Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.comBlogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-43375466550583041782011-08-11T09:08:00.001-07:002011-08-11T09:08:57.852-07:00I'm alive and taking emails. Coolguy4192@yahoo.comAnonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com163tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-62135347243117017682010-07-05T02:58:00.000-07:002010-07-05T03:23:50.811-07:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/07/im-moving-past-feeling-dear-world-so.html">I'm Moving Past the Feeling </a></span></span></span></span></u><br /><br />Dear World,<div><br /></div><div>So I've been gone for a month or so now, but thank you to those who have been patiently waiting for my posts. The great thing about life blogs is that I need to live a life in order to blog and for months I didn't have one. </div><div><br /></div><div>I used to be so sure. I always thought that I could live my life in the closet. Deny this part of me until I was finally laid to rest. Life was easy then. Life was so simple when I thought I could take this secret to the grave, but as I get older I realize that I can't live a life in denial. </div><div><br /></div><div>As a teen I would describe myself as scared. I was petrified of the gay side of me. Completely horrified at the thought of being discovered. I wold do everything in my power to appear straight. I would go out of my way to cut down openly gay guys to prove that I was "normal." </div><div><br /></div><div>As a young adult months away from turning 21 I would describe myself as lost. I don't know what I want. I know that I am gay, I've accepted that. But I don't know what I want as a gay man. There is this side of me that always feels guilt. I've been with guys before. Hook ups, break ups, and fuck ups. And each time I feel guilt. Its a guilt that I can't shake. I don't know why but I don't see myself with a man. Maybe it's cause I haven't met the right person. I can't be sure. I'm just confused. </div><div><br /></div><div>When I lay down at night, close my eyes, and visualize about the future, I don't see myself with a man. I don't see myself with a women. I don't see much of anything. I just want to be happy. </div><div><br /></div><div>Peace and Love, </div><div>Anonymous </div><div><br /></div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-88939571502696117322010-04-18T22:52:00.000-07:002010-04-18T23:24:15.930-07:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/04/world-be-aware-of-world-around-you.html">Dear World </a></span></span></span></span></u><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/s29_19283227.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/p11_17945223.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/p22_17833083.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/p14_17972235.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/c06_17500467.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/a25_20534329.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/927_21298277.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/s28_21112229.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/a08_20472721.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/p16_17984181.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/901_19314435.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/s22_20130537.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/c10_17419351.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/s18_21098635.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/d10_19284373.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/d27_19366803.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/d35_19099759.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/s10_19653495.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/p39_18002909.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/p34_17982057.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><a><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/t23_21544441.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket" /></a><br /><br />Be Aware of the World around you. <a href="http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/environment/">Photo credit</a>.<br /><br />Peace and Love,<br />AnonymousAnonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-14025172629763516492010-04-14T00:03:00.000-07:002010-04-14T00:23:14.230-07:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/04/in-morning-this-will-all-seem-fake-dear.html">In the morning this will all seem fake </a></span></span></span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"></span><br /><br />Dear World,<div><br /></div><div>So I've been out for awhile because I've been so busy with school, life, friends, family, and thoughts. I've been having a lot of thoughts lately, a little too much for my taste because I'm not the one for dramatics. Typically, I would just empty my brian out here and purge everything I was feeling but I just don't have time. </div><div><br /></div><div>A few days ago I decided to sign on my Coolguy4192 screen name and surprisingly I got a lot of instant messages. Many of those IMs consisted of people who wanted to know where I was and why I left the blogging world for nearly a month. There was one reader in particular who really motivated me to write again, and you know who you are. (not that I was planning to leave forever). But it was really refreshing to know that people care, so I guess I should give you guys something to care about right?</div><div><br /></div><div>Lately I've been extremely frustrated with being in the closet. I feel like everywhere I turn people are out or coming out. I feel like I've reached an age [20] where I should embrace myself and enjoy being gay at a young age to have the vitality that my youth provides me. I don't know why its so hard for me and yet so simple for others. I am my own worst enemy. </div><div><br /></div><div>I guess the reason why I struggle with this so much is because I've created an impossible standard for myself. This standard has ultimately created an image of a guy who has it all, who lives the picture perfect life. And a part of me wants to uphold that standard. For what reason? I don't know. Someone wise once told me "Who are you living your life for? For yourself? or for others?" As of now, I am living life for others. I can admit that. I enjoy pleasing my parents, I enjoy that they are proud of me. But I think I've reached my limit. I need to start living my life for me. </div><div><br /></div><div>There is this guy who I'm acquainted with. He recently came out as being bisexual. I really really want to come out to him, but I don't know if I can trust him. But I feel like he would be the one to know what I'm going through. His wounds are still fresh so he would still have the sympathy for "closeted" guys like me that many veteran "out" men lose over the years. I don't know what to do.....I'm really thinking about messaging him over facebook. I came out to a guy once, and I was completely fucked. I'm thinking this over long and hard. What would you guys do?</div><div><br /></div><div>Peace and Love,</div><div>Anonymous</div><div><br /></div><div>email me: Coolguy4192@yahoo.com</div><div><br /></div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-33975637749947343112010-03-09T02:39:00.001-08:002010-03-09T03:02:27.698-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/03/all-this-talking-pulls-my-teeth-dear.html">All this talking pulls my teeth </a></span></span></span></span></u><a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/03/all-this-talking-pulls-my-teeth-dear.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"></span><br /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Dear World,<br /><br />Apologies again for being absent. This quarter has by far been the worst. I'm doing this reading for one of my classes right now, and I've literally just come to the realization that I've been so ignorant my entire life. But hey, isn't life all about growing? I'm going to make a change. I'll tell you more about this later and hopefully you will learn something new about yourself in the process.<br /><br />In the mean time, in a study, test subjects were asked to use words that they believe is synonymous with homosexuality. Try not to get too upset. I'm listing this in order by the frequency they were mentioned, with the words most frequently used to describe homosexuality first.<br /><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">1. Sexually abnormal<br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">2. Perverted </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">3. Mentally ill</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">4. Maladjusted</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">5. Effeminate</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">6. Lonely</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">7. Insecure</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">8. Immoral</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">9. Repulsive</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">10. Frustrated</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">11. Weak minded</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">12. Lacking self control</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">13. Sensual</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">14. Over sexed</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">15. Dangerous</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">16. Sinful</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">17. Sensitive</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I don't have time to address this issue at the moment, but I will soon! In the mean time, please tell me how you feel. Leave a comment. The main purpose of this post is for to think about how ,as a group, we can change people's perceptions of us because clearly many people have it all wrong. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;">Peace and Love,</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;">Anonymous</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;">P.S. I've received a handful of emails requesting a link exchange, I will reply to them soon hopefully. But just know that I'm not ignoring you. </span></div></div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-90645513675709302362010-02-13T00:55:00.000-08:002010-02-13T01:00:03.941-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/02/some-eyes-were-looking-down-at-us.html">Some eyes were looking down at us </a></span></span></span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"></span><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/the-wild-orchid-by-camillia-akra-3.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/the-wild-orchid-by-camillia-akra-4.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/the-wild-orchid-by-camillia-akrans-.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/the-wild-orchid-by-camillia-akra-5.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/the-wild-orchid-by-camillia-akra-6.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/the-wild-orchid-by-camillia-akra-2.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/the-wild-orchid-by-camillia-akra-1.jpg" /></center><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">The Wild Orchid By Camillia Akrans</span>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-63194121045675948572010-02-11T00:32:00.000-08:002010-02-11T01:09:46.621-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-feel-out-of-heaven-to-be-with-you-in.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I fell out of heaven to be with you in hell </span></a></span></span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /><br />Dear World,<br /><br />I am back! Well not has "back" as I'd like to be. I'm still extremely busy but I promised I'd be back around February 10th, so here I am. So where do I begin? Whenever I go on these blogging breaks I get flooded with stray thoughts while trying to get through unremarkable life events. And with stray thoughts comes blog material.<br /><br />Well, where do I start?............Lately I've been feeling a little bored, as if I have nothing to be happy about. I've done everything I've wanted for myself. The things that would've given me much happiness before just don't do it for me anymore. So as I slowly cross things off my list, I approach that one thing on my list I can't seem to accomplish. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kFagSB_9s2s/S3PDT28LptI/AAAAAAAAAVg/5-PSVvK_mK8/s1600-h/Picture+2.png"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_kFagSB_9s2s/S3PDT28LptI/AAAAAAAAAVg/5-PSVvK_mK8/s400/Picture+2.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5436903921099187922" style="cursor: pointer; width: 241px; height: 400px; " /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Doing well on the LSATs, getting into a New York Law School, and moving out, those are all things in the distant future that I can probably accomplish. But #6. "Come out of the closet." Why is this one so hard? I almost get annoyed with myself because I can't seem to do it. I just can't picture my life being out of the closet. I can't fathom it. There are times where I imagine myself coming out of the closet to a friend and want it to be reality but its not. I have written coming out notes in tears only to trash it the next day. I have typed up emails only to never hit the send button. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I'm afraid. I'm afraid of being betrayed. I'm afraid of being judged. I'm afraid of being different. I'm afraid of change. I'm afraid of heartbreak. I'm afraid of emotions. I'm afraid of being that gay guy. But I'm also afraid of regret, regret from not coming out sooner. I feel like my time is now. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I don't understand why it's so difficult for me. But I'm at a point now where I feel like there is nothing to look forward to. So maybe its time for change? The change that I have repeatedly said that I feared. I don't even know how to come out to someone. How do you even bring it up? [Suggestions please]. Is it finally time for the anonymous blogger from Picture Perfect to come out? I'm just waiting for when my time comes. Sigh.....its late and time for me to go to bed. I look forward to more stray thoughts. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Peace and Love,</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Anonymous </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">p.s. I'll be responding to emails soon. As for link exchanges, I'll be happy to exchange links but please have my blog already linked to your blog when you email me. </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-29135746496135202002010-01-31T03:00:00.000-08:002010-01-31T03:13:32.272-08:00<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/life.gif" /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">will be back online soon. Prospective date 2.10.10.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><br /></span></div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-48430519464395892372010-01-16T01:15:00.000-08:002010-01-18T23:39:23.275-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/01/our-words-are-trained-to-angry-meeeeow.html">Our words are trained to the angry </a></span></span></span></u><br /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/devon-aoki-in-vogue-nippon.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/devon-aoki-in-vogue-nippon-8.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/devon-aoki-in-vogue-nippon-7.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/devon-aoki-in-vogue-nippon-6.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/devon-aoki-in-vogue-nippon-5.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/devon-aoki-in-vogue-nippon-2.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/devon-aoki-in-vogue-nippon-4.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/devon-aoki-in-vogue-nippon-9.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/devon-aoki-in-vogue-nippon-3.jpg" /><br /><br />Meeeeow. Devon Aoki represent. Yes I am half Asian and I feel like we don't have enough Asian people in the media.<br /><br />Peace and Love,<br />Anonymous.<br /><br />P.S. I'm busy.Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com50tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-10484373323697574092010-01-15T21:03:00.000-08:002010-01-15T21:44:34.402-08:00<a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/01/dear-world-meet-brandon.html"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 62px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kFagSB_9s2s/S1FKHT3FbVI/AAAAAAAAAVI/dDtNqHomatI/s400/Coming+out.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5427200515409014098" /></a><div>Dear World,</div><div><br /></div><div>Meet Brandon. Something new that I'm trying to do is to tell coming out stories other then my own because everyone has a different story, a different experience, a different setting, some were easy, some were difficult, and others were just a nightmare. The point I'm trying to make is everybody has an extremely unique experience. Many of my readers have coming out stories to tell and have no venue to express themselves with. So what I want to do is provide people with a platform to tell their stories and share their experiences with the world. So what I'm asking you guys to do is to email me your coming out story and I will provide my readers with your email and you can give them advice [only if you want to disclose your email, it could completely be anonymous if you want]. If you have a blog, send me your coming out story and I will link you on that post. If you have a youtube channel give me consent to post your videos, and I will also link you to a post. So yes getting more traffic is an incentive for sending in your coming out story, but what I'm trying to do is strengthen the bond between our loosely knit community. Email me: Coolguy4192@yahoo.com</div><div><br /></div><div>I emailed Brandon because I was interested in posting his youtube videos on my blog and he gave me the go ahead. Whenever I post something as intimate and personal as coming out of the closet, I always seek the consent of the author. This is the first coming out story I am posting on my blog, and will hopefully be the first of many. Please, please, please leave feedback either in the comments, or by directly messaging Brandon on his youtube page <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/SomeoneToShoutFor">here</a>. So leave a comment here or message him directly and let him know who sent you there. I just really believe that we all need to support each other, so show him some love.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/01/dear-world-meet-brandon.html"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 75px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_kFagSB_9s2s/S1FKHjnZFgI/AAAAAAAAAVQ/Lqc5nz0fNgE/s400/Bradon%27s+story.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5427200519638160898" /></a></div><br /><div><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YYKJhF1TCRU&hl=en_US&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YYKJhF1TCRU&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object></div><div><br /></div><div>Peace and Love,</div><div>Anonymous</div><div><br /></div><div>p.s. don't forget to pause the song in the right hand side. </div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-16837505677246788872010-01-12T23:41:00.000-08:002010-01-12T23:53:24.785-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/01/god-im-down-at-bottom.html">God, I'm down at the bottom </a></span></span></span></u><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81434_State_of_Emergency_12_123_562.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81418_State_of_Emergency_3_123_356l.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81437_State_of_Emergency_13_123_550.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81420_State_of_Emergency_5_123_590l.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81440_State_of_Emergency_14_123_391.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81433_State_of_Emergency_11_123_185.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/bigger.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81415_State_of_Emergency_2_123_143l.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81422_State_of_Emergency_8_123_583l.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81414_State_of_Emergency_1_123_587l.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81419_State_of_Emergency_4_123_369l.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81425_State_of_Emergency_9_123_525l.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81426_State_of_Emergency_10_123_2lo.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/81420_State_of_Emergency_6_123_538l.jpg" /></center><center style="text-align: left;">State of Emergency by Steven Meisel </center>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-61471750827907671412010-01-09T02:46:00.000-08:002010-01-10T03:47:16.884-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2010/01/freedoms-shine-let-it-peal-your-mind.html">Freedom's the shine, let it peal your mind when you're dancing</a></span></span></span></u><br /><br /><center><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/14642_212874017137_212864082137_301.jpg" /></center><br /><br />Dear World,<br /><br />I did a brief post on getting involved with a bi-sexual guy a few days ago. If you haven't read it, click <a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2009/12/sand-in-hour-glass-is-moving-slow-dear.html">here</a>. Okay, so now that we're all caught up, the update between him and I is that we are still talking. It's very casual though. I don't think he is looking for anything with a guy, and is trying to get serious with a girl. Am I disappointed? Yes. I'm not disappointed that we didn't get serious, I'm disappointed that we barely talk. We can hardly be considered friends. Having a chance to open up to someone was the nicest part about this whole thing. But I've come to realize that this guy, Gabe, has more issues to deal with before he can be comfortable enough to be open to me.<br /><br />I could tell that this poor guy is torn. He sought comfort in me while he was with his girlfriend. It makes me wonder if he is just dating her because that's what he feels is more normal then dating a guy. He has said to me once "I can't get serious with guys because I can't bring them home to my family and friends, and I can't hide my feelings when I truly love someone." So is it that he wants to be with a girl? or is it that he wants to be with a guy but can't? Bi-sexuality is very confusing. I used to think it would be the biggest luxury to be bi-sexual, but after meeting more bi-sexual people I realize that it's not. At times I think it could worst then being gay. I find that for many bi-sexuals they spend a huge part of their life trying to figure out if they're gay or straight. What'd I'd like to say to that is, maybe there is no definitive answer. The human mind is so complex, let it be, when you know you know. Love knows no gender. There is no reason why you have to pick one.<br /><br />I really want to be here for Gabe, but I can't do much when he is distancing himself from me. I'm not gonna force myself onto him. So for now I'm making sure he knows that I'm available to talk, but yet maintain my distance at the same time. I know he wants to talk to me because he messages me on aim every so often to see how I'm doing. I used to have the false assumption that Bi-sexuality was rare, but as I explore my own sexuality here on this blog I have come to meet many bi-sexuals and realized that their community is much larger then I anticipated. You guys are not alone.<br /><br />I wish I knew more about Gabe and his story, which is why I encourage many of my readers to start their own blogs or to just do anything that will help people understand us a little bit more. Which brings me to my other point. <div><br /></div><div>The guy in the image up top is of Mike Manning. He is one of MTV's newest cast member to the MTV Real World. He is involved with the Human Rights Campaign and the Energy Action Coalition and is also bi-sexual. I read his bio only to realize that he and I have many similarities. We both come from backgrounds of much success and popularity. He was prom king, so was I, involved with sports, so was I, and our parents think we are perfect except for one minor detail. Their cast is going to be in Washington DC, the perfect place to do some advocacy work. So I'm extremely curious as to what this guy is going to do. I think tuning in will be worth your while. I have a feeling he is going to be big voice for the gay community and I always have a lot of respect for people who put themselves out there. It's really hard to share your story to a very judgmental society, I would know. I'm a firm believer that the L.G.B.T community needs to stick together so show him some support.<br /><br />My blog is extremely limited to what it can do, but I hope that it can grow more and more each day. As of now I get about 11,200 views week. The amount of people that it equates to is a tiny variable in a much larger equation. I don't know if you knew this about me but I do plan on going to Law school to leave as an advocate for gay rights. I have an amazing internship right now and I do aspire to go to Harvard Law School. Maybe one day you guys will be voting for me, but don't worry I'll be an openly gay politician by then. I'll see you guys out there. Email me: coolguy4192@yahoo.com. Also, I've harnessed the power of tweeting. Follow me on <a href="http://twitter.com/Coolguy4192">twitter!</a><br /><br />Peace and Love,<br />Anonymous<br /><br />p.s. To understand my readers more, can you kindly take the surveys below. Thank you!<br /><br /><h2 class="title"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;">How old are you?</span></h2><br /><div class="widget-content" id="widget-content"><br /><iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="180" name="poll-widget7229706245889372346" src="http://www.google.com/reviews/polls/display/7229706245889372346/blogger_template/run_app?txtclr=%23666666&lnkclr=%235588aa&chrtclr=%235588aa&font=normal+normal+118%25+Courier%2C+monospace&hideq=true&purl=http%3A%2F%2Finacloset.blogspot.com%2F" style="border:none; width:100%;"></iframe><br /><div class="clear"></div></div></div><div class="widget Poll" id="Poll1"><h2 class="title"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;">What do you most closely identify with?</span></h2><div class="widget-content" id="widget-content"><br /><div class="widget-content" id="widget-content"><br /><iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="200" name="poll-widget-4559997436163622041" src="http://www.google.com/reviews/polls/display/-4559997436163622041/blogger_template/run_app?txtclr=%23666666&lnkclr=%235588aa&chrtclr=%235588aa&font=normal+normal+118%25+Courier%2C+monospace&hideq=true&purl=http%3A%2F%2Finacloset.blogspot.com%2F" style="border:none; width:100%;"></iframe></div></div></div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-3325988661686163522010-01-07T00:25:00.000-08:002010-01-07T17:50:26.314-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Underneath and Unexplored</span></span></span></u><br /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/p12_20904519.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/p16_20909483.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/s07_18359313.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/s16_18375825.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/s21_18379689.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/t01_18348447.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/ubud4.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/ubud5.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/p09_20904515.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/l14_17883345.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/i31_17572091.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/i28_17796607.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/h29_20941795.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/4145269101_ecb2db1fd4_o.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/c34_21479473.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/z03_18422425.jpg"><br />Pictures and music have a way of capturing a moment. I've had the privilege of traveling to many parts of the world, but there is still a lot of uncharted areas to be covered. This post serves as a reminder to me, and hopefully to you, of all the beauty that this world has to offer. This is just a wake up call of how little we are in this vast planet we live in. Take some time to learn about the people that surround you, don't miss out on their beauty. <br /><br />Peace and Love,<br />Anonymous <br /><br />Amazing picture credit goes to <a href="http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/environment/">Big Picture </a>. Bookmark me!Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-52291790889009139032009-12-30T17:08:00.000-08:002009-12-31T00:43:47.563-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Hit me like a ray of sun, burning through my darkest night</span></span></span></u><br /><br />Dear World,<br /><br />So I'm sitting here waiting for some friends to come over, starving. We're about to go get some dinner and I am so famished. To keep my mind off of my hunger I thought I could I just squeeze in a post. The year is coming to an end and I can finally bid farewell to 2009. It's been another great year and I can't wait for 2010 and see what life throws at me. I'm doing my New Years post now because I think I'll be too drunk to do a post tomorrow. Anyways, I really would like to just thank all my readers for the love and support. I'd like to thank all of those people who stood by me through the years, especially to those who were readers of this blog from day 1. You stayed loyal even after I disappeared for a year. At times I wish I hadn't deleted my old post back in 2008 because I think it would be fun to look back on them now. But if you saw my old posts and compared them to my newer ones I think I could say that I have grown up. I think...........This blog has completely transformed, not just in layout, but in content as well. My readership has grown day by day and I hope that I have helped touch the lives of someone out there who is going through the same thing as me. To the haters, I'm nothing without you guys either! I get thoroughly amused by how much hate you have for me sometimes, but without you contributing to my sitemeter I'm nothing. That's my sitemeter below, thank you so much everyone for reading. After my hiatus I thought this blog was unsalvageable but many of you came back. Although, I have been getting less comments and less emails then before. Keep commenting and emailing me guys! I love reading them! It really is the only satisfaction I get from blogging. Feedback is always welcomed.<br /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/sitemeter.jpg" /><br /><br />As this blog gets older I realized that I have deviated from the initial concept and many of you have misunderstood me for it. This blog title is called "Picture Perfect" because if you just looked at me, you would think that my life is "Picture Perfect." My Dad has been extremely successful practicing Law, and my Mom has had much success with her construction company. So yes, I am rich. My Dad has a Bentley, my mom has a Mercedes. I live in a multimillion dollar house with 24/7 gate guards watching over. There is perfectly trimmed grass, and one million dollar smiles everywhere you look. But as you can see, all this money doesn't give me happiness. I've addressed this before and that's exactly what I want to convey, that just because I have money, doesn't mean my life is perfect. The title is "Picture Perfect" because from the surface that's what it seems, but my life is far from it. From my friend's suicide, to my constant battle with self acceptance no money in the world can fix this. So take the time to get to know me. I know you guys don't know my name, or what I look like. But let my words paint a picture for you. So please, keep reading and grow with me. 2010 will be another exciting year.<br /><br />Peace and Love,<br />AnonymousAnonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-57683206725806062242009-12-29T03:20:00.000-08:002009-12-29T03:36:28.753-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Foster Twins</span></span></span></u><br /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani01.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani02.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani10.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani11.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani06.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani12.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani03.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani13.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani04.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani14.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani05.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani15.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani07.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani08.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/BaldovinoBarani09.jpg" /><br /><br />Photographed by Baldovino Barani www.baldovinobarani.com<br />Styling / Holly Suan Gray<br />Make-Up / Angela Pasley<br />Hair / Alexander Chui<br />Models/ Juliet Wesley (IMG), Brandon Wilson (STORM)<br />Magazine/ MILK X – Nov 2009<div><br /></div><div>Love and Peace,</div><div>Anonymous</div><div><br /></div><div>p.s. I will be responding to emails shortly! I know, I suck at it but I just get so much it's hard to respond to them all. Nonetheless, I appreciate each and every email and I read ALL of them regardless! Even if you are just asking for sex, I still read the email. <3</div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-53715037339882187742009-12-25T20:41:00.001-08:002009-12-26T02:06:55.544-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Guilty</span></span></span></u><br /><br />Dear World,<br /><br />I did something so stupid that now I feel so guilty. I'm trying to look at this as a learning experience but I honestly don't even know if I can trick myself into thinking that way. Let me tell you what happened...this literally happened 3 hours ago.<br /><br />My family decided to leave for Spain really last minute and I wasn't sure if I was going to be available for the week they were planning to go. Long story short, my family left for Spain while I stayed home. I felt this overwhelming sense of loneliness, something that I haven't felt before. Christmas Day was just a weird day. All day I felt so weird. My friend told me about a party that was going on tonight so I decided to just go because I had nothing better to do. I got to the party like at 7. It was a pretty decent crowd. It was a crowd made up of people who had torn families or families on vacation.<br /><br />There was this guy starring at me the entire night. Wasn't that hot or good looking but he was really nice. The night went on for like 30 mins and he and I ended up in a car alone somehow. It all started with me driving 5 people to get alcohol, starring guy being one of them. I drove back to the house where the party was at and dropped them off, but the guy who was staring at me, lets call him Danny, stayed in my car. He said "let's ditch this party."<br /><br />I felt spontaneous so I did and drove away. I don't need to describe the events leading up to it but we hooked up. We basically did everything but full sex. Mind you this literally happened 40 mins ago. While we were hooking up, the feelings of shame and grossness that I felt with my ex came rushing back. It was the same sights, the same smells, the same feelings. After we did our business, I just dropped him off at his car and left because there really wasn't much to say. We barely knew each other. I felt like a high class prostitute. Right when I dropped him off and I had some time to think, I felt this overwhelming sense of guilt. Guilt that my family was in Spain while I was having dirty sex in the back seat of my car. I should've sat at home and cut myself instead, it would've been the same thing. I've only been with two guys in my life, 1. my ex-boyfriend 2. Danny the random from the party. I just don't know what to feel right now. What makes me sad was that my parents begged me to go to Spain, but I refused. And this is what I go and do while they are gone.<br /><br />I stepped into my house and right when I opened the door the family portrait of my father, my mother, my sister, and my brother was starring at me. Starring at me as if they knew what happened and were ashamed. I learned something though. I learned that hooking up isn't for me, especially with a stranger. I'm the type of guy that really needs to know someone before doing anything. I also realized that for some odd reason, I always feel guilt when I'm with a guy. I feel wrong. I felt this way about Nick, my ex, as well. I always felt guilty after we did anything sexual. It is times like these where I realize that being in a relationship isn't for me. <div><br /></div><div>I feel like this guilt is a product of me being in the closet. <div><br /></div><div>For the past few weeks I've been emotional about being single and being stuck this way for a long time. But now I know that what makes me the most happy is when I'm immersing myself with knowledge, with friends, with music, and with the small beauties life has to offer. I think I'm ending my hunt for a guy for awhile. It's going to take someone who is perfect for me to let my guard down again. I still have a lot of growing up to do and I hope you guys stay with me throughout this journey.<br /><br />I just don't feel good about things right now. I feel so sleezy to say the least. I can still smell his stench on me, I'm going to take a shower.<br /><br />Peace and Love,<br />Anonymous </div><div><br /></div><div>p.s I got a lot of emails of people concerned that I cut myself. I actually don't. It was just something I thought was comparable with me hooking up with a guy in that it was self destructive. But yes, I don't cut myself. </div></div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-81029502656677895852009-12-20T02:18:00.000-08:002009-12-20T02:23:43.443-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">A sight for sore eyes, and a view to kill</span></span></span></u><br /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/Jamie_StevenKlein4CK3.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/Jamie_StevenKlein4CK2.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/Jamie_StevenKlein4CK1.jpg" /><br /><br />I did a post about him before <a href="http://inacloset.blogspot.com/2009/05/beat-and-exhausted-echt-jamie-dornan.html">here</a>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-20553820554889328292009-12-17T00:04:00.000-08:002009-12-17T14:49:24.089-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Gets wild to the beats of record rhythms</span></span></span></u><br /><br />Dear World,<div><br /></div><div>One of my readers sent me an email awhile back really wanting to hook up with me. I usually don't reply to these emails, but after being harassed so often to send a nude picture of myself to him, I had to reply. I told him "I'm not interested in hooking up, I am open to talk to you, but if all you want is ass, you've got the wrong guy."</div><div><br /></div><div>He being a regular on my blog (probably reading this right now) knows that I am closeted. So, he replies to my email by saying this:</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#666666;">"Well honestly, I would like to make a new friend. But I prefer to be friends with out guys like myself. And yes, I am masculine. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#666666;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#666666;">No offense, but I don't really respect closeted guys. If all the closeted guys had come out, Prop 8 probably would not have passed."</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, how stupid is this? Just because I'm closeted doesn't mean I voted yes on prop 8. Me being out or not did not effect my vote. This is how I replied to that email: </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#666666;">"That's too bad you have to come to those conclusions. I'm just not as fortunate to be presented with a situation where I could come out. Nonetheless, I still voted against Prop 8 and I do plan on coming out eventually. I respect your opinion, and I guess I'll leave it at that."</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>He replies:</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#666666;">"I agree it's unfortunate that you don't have the COURAGE to come out. I was presented with very difficult situation growing up in conservative St. Louis, Missouri, but I still had the guts to come out despite repercussions and homophobic backlash from my family. Everyone is presented with situations in which they CHOOSE to come out. haha, well let me know once you muster the bravery to come out completely, then we'll talk again." </span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>How do you respond to something like that? When you know he is partially right. He is right. It does take courage to come out, and I can respect him for coming out in a situation where there was a lot of backlash. I'll admit, after reading this email I contemplated coming out to my friends. But again, I don't feel the need to. I don't feel trapped in this cage. I don't feel like I would be a different person even if I was out. So I never really know what the point is. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm sure it must be nice to be out, but to simply put it, I just don't feel ready to come out of the closet yet. What I don't understand, more then anything, is why some people feel the need to force people out of the closet. I don't understand how some of my readers can get so passionate about me being in the closet and how much distaste they have against me for it. </div><div><br /></div><div>I just want people out there to be aware of the pain you can inflict on people. If you have a closeted friend/sibling/ cousin/ etc, don't be so forceful in trying to get them to come out. They're already torn as it is, they don't need you to make things worse. Show them love and compassion. Frustration will only push closeted individuals , like myself, further into the closet. </div><div><br /></div><div>Of all people, you would think that my gay readers would show the most sensitivity to closeted individuals. But unfortunately this isn't the case. Many of you guys are really against me being in the closet and feel the need to call me names. So it is almost like I am being scrutinized by both the straight community and the gay community. So where does a guy like me find acceptance in this world? </div><div><br /></div><div>Peace and Love,</div><div>Anonymous</div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-34859176018904360972009-12-13T21:12:00.000-08:002009-12-13T21:18:17.291-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Naked Rabbit Project</span></span></span></u><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34931006@N04/4184070610/" title="IMG_5934reduit by coolguy4192, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2516/4184070610_9faa98d7fd_o.jpg" width="649" height="431" alt="IMG_5934reduit" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34931006@N04/4183309189/" title="NRP 3 by coolguy4192, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2568/4183309189_49f787ebf5_o.png" width="650" height="700" alt="NRP 3" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34931006@N04/4184070718/" title="IMG_0051reduit by coolguy4192, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4001/4184070718_9150a70ab9_o.jpg" width="649" height="431" alt="IMG_0051reduit" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34931006@N04/4184070856/" title="NRP 2 by coolguy4192, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2496/4184070856_8e8aaea363_o.png" width="650" height="700" alt="NRP 2" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34931006@N04/4184070766/" title="IMG_5612reduit by coolguy4192, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4044/4184070766_a2f41de753_o.jpg" width="649" height="431" alt="IMG_5612reduit" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34931006@N04/4183309099/" title="NRP 1 by coolguy4192, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2652/4183309099_a574e7611a_o.png" width="650" height="700" alt="NRP 1" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34931006@N04/4183308843/" title="IMG_4984reduit by coolguy4192, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2495/4183308843_b838e0a5ac_o.jpg" width="649" height="431" alt="IMG_4984reduit" /></a><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://tnrp.blogspot.com/?zx=e179c14b76c80a22">For More</a></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Peace and love,</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Anonymous </span></span></div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-87495580974702062352009-12-09T01:12:00.000-08:002009-12-09T01:22:13.973-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">I want your psycho</span></span></span></u><br /><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/somewhere01.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/somewhere07.jpg"><br /><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/somewhere03.jpg"><br /><br />JOEY KIRCHNER + SIMON NESSMANAnonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-35258487535970172252009-12-07T13:14:00.000-08:002009-12-09T01:21:16.118-08:00On of the best things about fashion is music and artistic expression. You can always count on Mcqueen to put on a good show. Below are old videos, but never get old. So Enjoy it while I enjoy finals. <br /><br /><object width="640" height="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5bCShCcD3N0&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5bCShCcD3N0&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="400"></embed></object><br /><br />Below, is a Hologram of Kate Moss. Shit, I want to be turned into a hologram. <br /><object width="640" height="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Cou04-vOZx8&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Cou04-vOZx8&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="400"></embed></object>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-48851096531813909622009-12-05T01:18:00.000-08:002009-12-05T01:24:27.034-08:00<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#99FF99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">Well I've Never Prayed But Tonight I'm On my Knees</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#66FF99;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I Need to Hear Some Sounds that Recognize the Pain in Me.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33FF33;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I Let the Melody Shine, Let it Cleanse my Mind, I Feel Free now</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#33CC00;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">But the Airwaves are Clean and There's Nobody Singing to me Now.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#009900;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">No Change, I can Change, I can Change, I can Change</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#006600;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">But I'm Here in my Mold. I am Here in my Mold</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">"</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">- The Verve</span></span></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">beautiful lyrics</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> </span></span></div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-13259193352987859252009-12-02T00:06:00.000-08:002009-12-02T00:45:04.613-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The sand in the hour glass is moving slow</span></span></span></u><br /><br />Dear World,<br /><br />I need to do this impromptu post because I have so much on my mind and this is the only way I'll be able to clear my thoughts so that I can go to bed. I know this post won't do what I want to convey any justice but I really just need to get this out of my system. This is going to be a stream of conscious so excuse the grammatical errors, spelling errors, etc.<br /><br />So over the last few posts many of you would have already realized that I'm kind of in a man search. Being in the closet puts me in a weird situation because I can't exactly just go out and meet someone. Many of you have a lot to say about me being in the closet, but to address that right now, I don't give a fuck. I will come out on own time. Anyways, I posted an ad on Craig's List basically giving my description, my goals, and ambitious and how I was looking for someone to talk to or maybe even date if it turns into something special. 40 messages later I finally got an email from a guy who wasn't just looking to satisfy his one night frustration while his wife was out.<br /><br />This guy, Gabe, goes to my school, he's in fraternity, smart, and Bi. Yes Bi. Here is the thing about bisexual guys they are more confused then gay guys. I always thought being Bi sexual would be so much fun, but to live life torn in two directions is just too much. Anyways Gabe and I get along really well. He's funny, sarcastic, and loves music just like me. And most of all he is dedicated. Discreet like me, he fears coming out because of his parents. So I figured this could work. We got a long sooo well it was weird. For people who never met we were already finishing each other's sentences.<br /><br />After talking some more I find out that he is "dating" this girl. Okay, weird. But he assured me that it was something that was only a month in and they weren't mutually exclusive. I didn't think much of it because after a week I was really just happy to be able to be open with someone. I was able to share with him my experience with my ex, Nick. We both had relationship problems with guys, and he was basically screwed over by some guy which has turned him more straight then gay. In other words, he saw guys as people who he could fool around with, not get into a serious relationship. Bi sexuals are so confusing. Just so everyone knows, at this point I still hadn't met him in person yet. All of our chatting was done online.<br /><br />2 weeks later I muster up the courage to meet him in person, and to me I thought it went really well. We sat in my car and just talked, it was awkward at times but I don't see why it wouldn't be. We got along so well. It was so refreshing to be able to open to someone. I had that feeling that I used to get with Nick. That feeling in your stomach. That shyness that usually isn't there reemerges. Before we parted ways we exchanged hugs. That hug with him was a reminder of what I've been missing out on. I felt the warmth of his cheeks against mine that gave me chills. I had completely forgotten what it was like to be with anyone, to feel someone's affection. He pressed his face against mine and stroked my back. That hug carried on such a more meaningful message for me.<br /><br />But I guess the feeling wasn't mutual. I still don't even know, but lately he's been a little stand offish. He hasn't been texting me the way he used to. I asked him literally just now "am I going to be able to share deep dark conversations with you tonight?" Okay I know this sounds a little strong, but it's an inside joke that we have, and all he said was "i'm not nearby a computer right now." 2 weeks prior he probably would of made some joke or said something sarcastic. This just seemed so cold. I responded with "aw, okay, well I'm going to pass out now, you have work tomorrow right?" he responds "yay lucky you, you get to go to sleep. i feel like I'm not going to be online as much anymore with finals, but yea I have work tomorrow, lucky me." Basically saying, I won't be online to chat with you as much anymore. I feel like this is a sign of him getting bored or scared.<br /><br />The only reason why that last text was so depressing for me to read was because we both talked about how he was naturally smart, and he always emphasized how he never had to study. So I don't get why he would tell me that now. Does being online really distract him that much? Another point I want to make, being online carries more magnitude in this situation because that's the only time we ever talk because we are both so busy.<br /><br />I don't know what it is, maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe it's because I'm so excited for this. Maybe it's because he is scared to be screwed over again. He made it clear to me the first time we talked that he wasn't looking to date anyone, but 2 weeks later he says "just when I think i am fully attracted to girls, a guy comes into my life to make me think otherwise" and for a moment I thought I could be that guy. I'm just kind of lost right now, and I really needed to clear my mind. I told myself not to let myself fall for this guy because he was in the fence about everything. I knew this was going to happen, but I can't turn off my feelings. I am so picky when it comes to men, and for once I think I might of found someone. When you know, you know. So right now, I'm trying to stop any feelings I have for him because I don't need to be let down. Love sucks. <div><br /></div><div>For every post I listen for inspiration from music to help guide my thoughts, and the song that is posted now is my current inspiration. I don't know why it is, but it is. thanks for reading and for being loyal. I could really use your advice now. </div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-12140343447620742412009-11-18T18:55:00.000-08:002009-11-18T19:13:29.297-08:00<div style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://www.myspace.com/zacpoor"><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/zacpoor.jpg" /></a></div><center><a href="http://www.myspace.com/zacpoor"><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/l_a6b0120d19fe4aa0aa4924bea0212b86.jpg" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/zacpoor"><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/l_803fe16e5172494fb078cb19f3b258a6.jpg" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.myspace.com/zacpoor"><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/image%20heavy/l_730400ee499f48c1add58894c3e83852.jpg" /></a></center><br />Dear World,<br /><br />A band on the rise, ZacPoor is quickly becoming one of my favorite bands. My favorite song from them is called "She'll be Breaking Hearts" and because they are so new I couldn't find any of their songs on youtube, otherwise you know I would've posted it. So in the mean time go to their <a href="http://www.myspace.com/zacpoor">myspace page!</a> Or follow them on <a href="http://twitter.com/Zacpoor">Twitter</a>! Anyways, posted below is their cover of Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi," which I really like. The next thing on my to do list is to see ZacPoor live. They are in the LA area where I'm from. perrrfect. <div><br /></div><object width="640" height="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lUDZZABs3y0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lUDZZABs3y0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="400"></embed></object><br /><br />Love & Peace,<br />AnonymousAnonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421046934953813196.post-49383937739659740622009-11-13T23:48:00.000-08:002009-11-18T23:46:29.621-08:00<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:30px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Secrets of the winds, burnt stars crying</span></span></span></u><br /><br />Dear World,<br /><br />Its that time of year where we start rushing for our fraternity. I truly love this time of year because people spend their days pondering about how they're going to kiss my ass, and who doesn't love that? For those of you that have forgotten I am in a Fraternity, I just don't blog about it often. Anyways, all my second year I spent pledging so I'm glad the tables have turned. As the interview process intensifies so does the hotness. LOL The guys rushing this year are so hot. We have latin guys, asian guys, white guys, mixed guys, it's just like a potpourri of men.<br /><br />Anyways, I interviewed this Asian guy, and trying to listen to him was so difficult because he was so hot. It was like everything was happening in slow motion. Tall, slim, smooth, and dressed very well. Is he gay? I don't know, he seems pretty straight. My gaydar is extremely inaccurate, so i don't even try anymore. But what I find is that I am totally attracted to the straight guys. Guys where their sexuality is totally ambiguous. From this point on, I'll refer to these gay/straight ambiguous guys as question mark guys.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://i726.photobucket.com/albums/ww269/coolguy4192/confused-man.jpg" /></center>The downfall with these question mark guys is that you can't tell! Nothing is certain, hence "question mark" guys. I spend more time trying to figure out their sexuality then pursuing them. Why is it so difficult to find a guy? I just want to meet one good guy, why is this so hard? <div><br /></div><div>So, throughout my interview with this Asian question mark guy I purposely asked questions to to figure him out. "So, what brand are my shoes?" "Football game? or shopping?" "Do you take it up the butt?" Okay, so I'm exaggerating, but I did honestly try to figure him out.<br /><br />However, he left the interview an even bigger question mark then he was before. I was scratching my head trying to figure out his sexuality, all while figuring out his standing in our fraternity. So yea, I'm looking for a guy, scoping out the college scene before I become old and alone. So far, the markets been down like our economy. Seriously, what do you guys suggest a closeted guy like me do? I'm sort of stuck in the balance of coming out but not coming out at the same time. It's hard to explain.<br /><br />I think I'm a good catch. 5'11, dedicated, moms and girls love to call me handsome, but where the are the men?! Where do I look? This is a cry for help. </div><div><br /></div><div>Anonymous. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Anonymous Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07973492018655035709noreply@blogger.com6