Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Life Post: Starting over

Dear World, 

I'm not really sure where to start. I know many of you hate me for just kind of leaving, but I guess you can say I was just running away from everything. Going to this blog was a constant reminder of what I was, and how much guilt I felt being with Nick. I apologize because many of you truly did care about me, but I was so ashamed of who I was. I was running away from all the mean spirited opinions constantly sent to my email. I really couldn't handle what everyone had to say when I didn't even know what they looked like. I couldn't even get advice from the people I was closest too, so instead I sought out for help from complete strangers. Something felt wrong. I never thought that hiding things from my friends, family, and loved ones would be the root of so much guilt. And this blog was a physical manifestations of all that I was hiding, and I feared confronting it. I always thought I could live my life hiding things from everyone, but I realized that I can't. People tell me that I shouldn't of started something I couldn't end. My response to that, is that I had no intention of ending this. I knew it was only a matter time. 


So the first order of business was to delete all my old posts, I never want to look at them again. But with that, I am starting a new chapter in my life. Being single for almost a year now has allowed me to expand on things I realize are more important to me. I can't let being gay be a constant issue in my life. So just as a warning, this blog is getting a face lift. Its no longer going to be that gay relationship blog. Its going to be about my life, and what I learn from family, friends, school, and just random people I meet on the street. I used to write about Nick because I knew it would get me the most views, but now I can careless who reads this blog. It is truly a place where I come and vent, a journal per se. I learn so much more from the people I truly care about, then the booty call that was Nick. 

But again, I am so sorry.  

-Anonymous 

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

glad you're back.

Princessa lil mexico said...

i dont hate you. glad your well and starting fresh. that is one hard thing to do, but if you need help, people are here to help you!

Volker said...

I'm glad you're back. Its your blog and always has been. Write what you will and those that want to read will come back. So, not only have we started a new year but you've picked up the pieces and decided to carry on! Great stuff!!!

Mister S said...

Glad to know you're back :)

BTW, if you have a feed/reader, you can always access older posts.

Darren said...

Your readers don't deserve an apology. Your life isn't for us to judge. Just be confident in yourself.

David said...

welcome back!! i'm sure you had your reasons for going away for a bit.

it's good that you are starting fresh. sometimes it's better to just move on from the bad things from your past.

looking forward to more posts from you. know that you are cared for and loved by many :)

X66 said...

Welcome back!

You gotta do what's right for you and not what others in blogland think you should be doing. Sounds like that is what you're doing, so thats great!

Aek said...

I'm glad you're back. I hope you sign online again too, haven't talked to you in SO long.

It's your blog, you can do whatever you want with it. Whatever you post about you'll have readers. But don't post BECAUSE of us or FOR us (well, at least not most of the time XD), but post because and for you.

Welcome to this clean slate, I look forward to reading the reincarnation of your blog.

*hugs*

dickophile said...

glad you're back!!

Doomed But Cheerful! said...

No apologies. No regrets. Nothing to judge. Thank you for allowing us to share with you.

etre-moral-etre-sincere said...

It's a great idea to start blogging again. I am definitely going to follow your blog.

Random Thinker said...

shut up!

you have no reason to apologize to anyone. sharing part of your thoughts, your life, that's what's real. so you have nothing to be sorry for.

welcome back!

James said...

Some of us really worried, glad you are at least still in one piece and of sound mind.

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