Friday, November 13, 2009

Secrets of the winds, burnt stars crying

Dear World,

Its that time of year where we start rushing for our fraternity. I truly love this time of year because people spend their days pondering about how they're going to kiss my ass, and who doesn't love that? For those of you that have forgotten I am in a Fraternity, I just don't blog about it often. Anyways, all my second year I spent pledging so I'm glad the tables have turned. As the interview process intensifies so does the hotness. LOL The guys rushing this year are so hot. We have latin guys, asian guys, white guys, mixed guys, it's just like a potpourri of men.

Anyways, I interviewed this Asian guy, and trying to listen to him was so difficult because he was so hot. It was like everything was happening in slow motion. Tall, slim, smooth, and dressed very well. Is he gay? I don't know, he seems pretty straight. My gaydar is extremely inaccurate, so i don't even try anymore. But what I find is that I am totally attracted to the straight guys. Guys where their sexuality is totally ambiguous. From this point on, I'll refer to these gay/straight ambiguous guys as question mark guys.

The downfall with these question mark guys is that you can't tell! Nothing is certain, hence "question mark" guys. I spend more time trying to figure out their sexuality then pursuing them. Why is it so difficult to find a guy? I just want to meet one good guy, why is this so hard?

So, throughout my interview with this Asian question mark guy I purposely asked questions to to figure him out. "So, what brand are my shoes?" "Football game? or shopping?" "Do you take it up the butt?" Okay, so I'm exaggerating, but I did honestly try to figure him out.

However, he left the interview an even bigger question mark then he was before. I was scratching my head trying to figure out his sexuality, all while figuring out his standing in our fraternity. So yea, I'm looking for a guy, scoping out the college scene before I become old and alone. So far, the markets been down like our economy. Seriously, what do you guys suggest a closeted guy like me do? I'm sort of stuck in the balance of coming out but not coming out at the same time. It's hard to explain.

I think I'm a good catch. 5'11, dedicated, moms and girls love to call me handsome, but where the are the men?! Where do I look? This is a cry for help.



drew said...

There isn't any perfect answer to your situation. If you really want to find someone you need to make yourself available, period. That either means coming out or going to places where gays are. I feel you would be better off biting the bullet and come out. I feel the acceptance level is much better than it has been in the past. What is the downside? if you don't decide to do that what is the other answer? This advice is from a 56 year old gay man who is unhappy with the single gay life. I have no one. I know none of this is easy but you need to think about your future and what is right for you. Good luck...

Aek said...

I understand your frustration. It feels like you're living in a vacuum or cage and no one's around for quite a ways. It's kind of like that for me too, except my time's a huge limiting factor as well. And I don't know the area well at all yet (still).

Grand said...

ooo hot guys kissing your ass. thats the best hehe. im in the same position...the moms and girls think im handsome and yet i cant find a hot guy thats into me

Vince Patrick said...

i feel like i wrote that post haha
im into straight guys too and i just really wanna find a guy
and i think im a catch too >.< haha

Doomed But Cheerful! said...

SO many gay guys are into str8 guys - and always have been. It can be interesting, if you don't let it become a frustration.

Possibly the whole coming out thing is out of the question for you, on a global scale. So maybe you can get along to the LGBT group at your uni, so you can at least start making some gay friends, who will help you connect to other gay men, and so on - with a degree of discretion.

Yes - wouldn't it be nice, and preferable, and more honest, to be out. For some, however, it is still not an option.

(Your blog is still one of the most stylish I ever read!)

G =]