Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Hit me like a ray of sun, burning through my darkest night

Dear World,

So I'm sitting here waiting for some friends to come over, starving. We're about to go get some dinner and I am so famished. To keep my mind off of my hunger I thought I could I just squeeze in a post. The year is coming to an end and I can finally bid farewell to 2009. It's been another great year and I can't wait for 2010 and see what life throws at me. I'm doing my New Years post now because I think I'll be too drunk to do a post tomorrow. Anyways, I really would like to just thank all my readers for the love and support. I'd like to thank all of those people who stood by me through the years, especially to those who were readers of this blog from day 1. You stayed loyal even after I disappeared for a year. At times I wish I hadn't deleted my old post back in 2008 because I think it would be fun to look back on them now. But if you saw my old posts and compared them to my newer ones I think I could say that I have grown up. I think...........This blog has completely transformed, not just in layout, but in content as well. My readership has grown day by day and I hope that I have helped touch the lives of someone out there who is going through the same thing as me. To the haters, I'm nothing without you guys either! I get thoroughly amused by how much hate you have for me sometimes, but without you contributing to my sitemeter I'm nothing. That's my sitemeter below, thank you so much everyone for reading. After my hiatus I thought this blog was unsalvageable but many of you came back. Although, I have been getting less comments and less emails then before. Keep commenting and emailing me guys! I love reading them! It really is the only satisfaction I get from blogging. Feedback is always welcomed.



As this blog gets older I realized that I have deviated from the initial concept and many of you have misunderstood me for it. This blog title is called "Picture Perfect" because if you just looked at me, you would think that my life is "Picture Perfect." My Dad has been extremely successful practicing Law, and my Mom has had much success with her construction company. So yes, I am rich. My Dad has a Bentley, my mom has a Mercedes. I live in a multimillion dollar house with 24/7 gate guards watching over. There is perfectly trimmed grass, and one million dollar smiles everywhere you look. But as you can see, all this money doesn't give me happiness. I've addressed this before and that's exactly what I want to convey, that just because I have money, doesn't mean my life is perfect. The title is "Picture Perfect" because from the surface that's what it seems, but my life is far from it. From my friend's suicide, to my constant battle with self acceptance no money in the world can fix this. So take the time to get to know me. I know you guys don't know my name, or what I look like. But let my words paint a picture for you. So please, keep reading and grow with me. 2010 will be another exciting year.

Peace and Love,
Anonymous

6 comments:

Aek said...

Happy New Year! I hope this next one treats you well. :-)

j said...

i just want to say thank you for having us as readers. i've been with your blog for a very long time and i really do appreciate your kind words and how much you offer help, even to those you don't even know. i think you are a wonderful person, and i hope you continue to touch lives like you did with mine. thank you.

j.

goleftatthefork said...

I have loved this blog for a very very long time and look forward to many more posts to come! Especially the one where the happiness you are seeking comes crashing into your life like a meteor

X66 said...

Happy New Year!

drew said...

I don't think your unhappiness has as much to do with your parents money as it does with your self worth. I understand how you can have low self esteem in our culture. You are gay, as I, and in our culture we are reminded about the negatives of it almost every day. I do think if you decide to come out of the closet you are telling those that don't like you to Fuck off, but I have never had the nerve to do that but at your age you need to try to do it to release what you are holding in. I am 56 so it is a little late for me but I hope you can do it for you!!

bruno said...

I´m amazed not only by the contents of your writing, but also by your great style. Have you ever considered trying to become a newsman? Anyway... I didn´t not grew up in an affluent household, but both my parents have never shown any disregard for gay people, and have until today many gay and lesbians friends. Nonetheless, it took me a long time to accept the fact that I was gay. I truly believe that no matter your background or environment, it is difficult to get out of the closet all over the world. As for Drew´s comment, hope you find a way to realize it is never to late...