Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Bitter Bachelor?

Dear World,

So I am sitting here in bed trying to figure out what to blog about. As I lay here semi distracted by computer games and television, I realize what has been bothering me for quite some time. Because I'm usually the only person who is constantly single, I am always the go to guy when someone "breaks up." I love being there for my friends, being a shoulder for them to cry on, but at the same time I just want to be like "I'm too busy to talk right now." But I really don't have the heart to do that.

You guys are all probably wondering why I'm such an asshole, but I feel a lot of times people call me is because their significant other is busy, out of town, or their broken up. Like Jennifer Aniston would put it, it's really "uncool." My best friend Katie, who I have mentioned very little about on this blog, recently broke up with her boyfriend. Suddenly she is free again, and wants to hang out all the time. Which is cool, but I feel like she is hanging out with me because she has isolated herself from everyone, and now that her boyfriend is not here anymore she'll have to settle with second best. In this case, me. And when she asks me for advice on how to handle the break up she always says "you will never understand." And sometimes I really just want to shake her because she has no idea what I've been through. She still has no idea that I am gay and that I was in a relationship for awhile.

I think for us gays, who are in the closet, we are always "single." So when everyone flocks away goo goo eyed in love, we are always left behind and nobody ever realizes. And then when the love turns sour, we are always there to be a friend. I just want some people to be more aware of their actions. When you just abandon someone for another person, it's annoying. Some people are so dependent on a significant other, it's disgusting. People are not ready to date until they are completely capable of being single, because there is a fine line between wanting to be in a relationship and needing to be in a relationship. And I feel like a handful of these people NEED to be in a relationship.

I don't appreciate being called when your boyfriend is too busy, and then when we finally hang out, you leave me half way because your boyfriend is suddenly free. I always give people a standard honeymoon phase where love makes you stupid, but after awhile it's really no excuse. Am I a bitter bachelor? probably. But either way, I deserve to be respected. So to all of you people who have boyfriends/girlfriends, be aware of the friends that were there for you before you were in love. Because when you fall out of it, some people won't be there to catch you.

Peace and Love,


Random Thinker said...

you actually put an interesting spin on friendships. i can totally relate - being a friend does mean being there when things are tough for another friend. but that can't be the only aspect of friendship. it needs to include the good times as well.

so, i think you're right that it's unfair to you when your friendship is wanted only when the other person is in crisis mode or single mode.

you deserve friends that you can trust, respect, and count on too...

now, having said that, perhaps there's a piece of you holding back. i just hope ssoon you cna find a friend that is there for you in good and bad times, who is a shoulder for you to lean on instead of you just having the soggy shoulder, and someone you trust enough to share some things that are hard to share with anyone.

in any event, i think its ok to be bitter, and maybe its something you can talk to with your clueless friends?

Anonymous said...


Aek said...

You know what else also sucks?

Being the one that people whine to about their gf/bf while they're in the relationship. -_- Seriously people, just talk to the ones you're whining about!

dannie said...

i know the feeling. some people just don't know how to juggle friends and a relationship at the same time. i've done it before, it's also happened to me. you seem like a great friend though, and to be there for someone even after months of no contact = a good friend.

Anonymous said...

A very interesting spin - I love the way you are thinking about this and I agree. I try to choose my friends very carefully, and I also work VERY hard to keep my friends "outside" my relationship as close as I can, and as independent as I can.